FAMILY TIME
Christmas - once upon a time and today
Like most other kids, I'm sure, when I was a kid, Christmas was my favourite
time of year. Thick fat snowflakes always arrived on Christmas Eve without fail,
the snow on the ski slopes was always perfect, there was no stress, everything
went exactly according to plan, the Christmas tree was huge and everyone was
happy. Looking back, I'm certain that this memory is not accurate and that Christmas
was always a less than relaxing time for most adults involved.
Now I'm a Dad. It would be wrong to claim that I don't enjoy Christmas, but it
is rather less of a cakewalk than it used to be. In some ways, it's become both
a little less relaxed but also more fun since our son was old enough to be enchanted
by the lights and the tree. Less relaxed because we both want Christmas to be
special for him, more fun because we get to see Christmas through his eyes. So
it works both ways.
One of the sad things - in my opinion - about Christmas today is that many children
don't know what it's really about. Presents, party, Santa, lots of food, presents,
snow, holidays and - oh yes: presents. Now whether you are a church-going
family or not, the fact remains that Christmas is an event with its roots in
Christian
tradition. There's a story out there: Three kings, carols, the Star of Bethlehem,
the stable, the crib... Even if you choose not to be too religious about it,
it's a pretty good story all the same. I find it sad if kids lose touch with
that side of Christmas. It's part of our western culture. And if you teach them
about Hanukkah too, then good on you. We try not to overload our son with this
cultural background, but he does love a good story, and going to church at night
on Christmas Eve is pretty cool for him.
I find the issue of Christmas presents a difficult one. The egoist in me loves
getting presents, the altruist loves selecting presents for my loved ones and
(hopefully) seeing their happy faces as the unwrap the presents from me. But
I feel uneasy about Christmas turning into a "buy all you can - spend, spend,
spend" consumer marathon. Every year I feel that the shops put out the Christmas
decorations earlier. In fact, that appears to be entirely subjective and wrong.
But it feels that way. Every year we make a long list of present ideas for family
and friends. Every year we swear not to leave it to the last moment. And every
year we inevitably fail and end up doing everything at the last minute. Or at
least - I do. My wife is better at that than me, I have to admit. The older we
get, the more the Christmas present question becomes focused on our son (and
on our small nieces and nephews and friends' children). But now our son is in
school, so suddenly it all "Can I have a Nintendo? Or a Playstayshun? Michael
has one and it's sooooooooo coooooool. Please please please please puhlease?" Parents
are not generally very good at resisting their childrens' attempts at manipulation,
but I feel uneasy about these "big" presents. Our son has so many toys
that when we periodically unpack the expedition gear and mount a major incursion
into his bedroom to tidy up a little, he always "rediscovers" toys
he had forgotten about. This is cool in so far as it also turns into an adventure
for him, but there is a point where more toys just add to the clutter, and he
doesn't really need a Nintendo or Playstation. Sooner or later he'll need a computer
for school and for e-mail, but that's not yet. Next year, maybe. But it's difficult
finding a balance between finding special presents for him - presents which will
really delight him - and avoiding the dictates of advertising. I find
the most
irritating advertising is that which targets our kids directly. It makes them
WAAAANT things so badly that anything less is a genuine disappointment. Sad.
Christmas shouldn't be about disappointments.
It would be perhaps a little simplistic - in our case at least - to preach the "the
most important gift you can give at Christmas is time together." But time
together, and time to actually enjoy Christmas, tell the stories, light a fire,
go out into the woods after dark (obligatory - take along a petroleum storm lantern
instead of a pocket torch - the light is magical) and gather pine branches to
decorate the Christmas table or your door. Sing some carols (or at least play
them on CD). And we try to develop and keep our own individual Christmas traditions:
The cookie baking, the Christmas tree decoration, obviously Christmas dinner
itself... These traditions are precious and the fact that different families
celebrate differently is an enrichment of Christmas, not a dilution of the value
of the event (an opinion I've heard but disagree with).
However you choose to celebrate Christmas, don't forget to take the time to enjoy
it. I didn't forget my childhood Christmases. Our kids won't either.
Buon natale!
| DANIEL SCHWARZ
CARIGIET Born: 1966 in Lugano, Switzerland - Mother American, father German Family: married to Astrid, father of Oliver |
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| Occupation: Freelance photographer / commmunications consultant |
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