HEALTH TIME

ASK DR. MARIANNE

Dear Dr. Marianne,
My 6-year old son has started to go on weekend visits to visit his grandparents’ by himself. These weekend visits are his first experiences away from home overnight. Before going he gets excited about the visit, but as it draws close he starts to worry about missing his toys and little sister and not having me to read him a bed-time story. Last weekend we had to go and pick him up early because he was so homesick.
What is homesickness, and what can we do to help him?
From A Worried Mother

Dear Worried Mother,
First, a bit about homesickness, and then I’ll give you a few tips to help the situation. Homesickness is not considered a medical condition. It is the distress and functional impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home and attachment objects such as parents. Both children and adults can experience some degree of homesickness when they are away from familiar surroundings and enter a new environment. However, children and young adolescents seem to be more affected.

Homesickness can range from mild to severe. Severe homesickness is associated with social problems, behaviour problems, symptoms of anxiety and depression, coping deficits and feelings of helplessness. Homesickness can also reveal itself in a variety of physical symptoms, for instance headaches, stomach aches and so forth.

Attitude may play a part in whether someone experiences homesickness. Homesickness is more likely if you expect to experience it, if you have negative first impressions, or if your expectations for the new environment are low. One of the best ways to get over homesickness is through experience, if a child is used to being away from usual surroundings, family and friends, they will be less likely to get homesick. This means that you’re doing the right thing by introducing your son to the experience of being away from home while making sure he’s in a safe environment. Feeling homesick is normal from time to time when being away from home.

Here are my top tips for helping a child deal with homesickness:

1. Remember that exposure to separation and being away from familiar surroundings is good.

2. Make sure the separation is planned ahead and the child has not been forced into a new situation.

3. Have a positive attitude.

4. Involve the child in the process of separation: have him pack his own suitcase, have him choose a toy to take along, talk about when he’ll be going and for how long, and let him know he can reach you.

5. Explain that feeling homesick is normal, help him to identify the feeling.

6. Talk to his grandparents about his bedtime routine.

7. If the separation is longer, make a plan for regular contact and stick to the plan.

8. For adults or families leaving their home environment for a longer period of time all above-mentioned points are important as well as trying to involve yourselves in the new community through work, spare time activities and so on.

I hope that helps.
Dr. Marianne

MARIANNE EFSKIND Born: Norway Family: married to John Olav Occupation: intern in public health and family medicine in Vik.

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