TALKING TIME

WE ARE TALKING TO: SUZIE O´REILLY

By: Anne Monstad
September 2008


Suzie O’Reilly is originally from Australia but is no stranger to the term expat. Before moving to Switzerland, one year ago, she lived and worked throughout Asia for 10 year based in Singapore and Hong Kong. Suzie now juggles three young children aged 1, 2 and 5 years, her Master’s studies and enriching her families’ life in Zurich.

What were your expectations before you moved to Switzerland and so far is it how you expected it to be?

I had expected to be living in a bustling, multicultural, noisy city with a busy, cosmopolitan atmosphere. My previous experiences of Asia had technicolored my kaleidoscope of expectations and time spent in European cities such as London, Athens, Venice, Paris and Izmir also influenced these expectations substantially. Visions of dairy cows adorning traditional cow bells I expected only to see in more remote areas of the mountains. Living in an apartment, in a converted barn, on a farm did not enter our minds but after searching for months we ended up living on the edge of a beautiful field, serenaded by sheep and cows with neck bells, with tractors, farm machinery, cows and horses holding up the traffic in our neighbourhood and local shops closed for lunch and on Sundays. This all felt quite surreal and often very amusing for my family and I although also very agreeable in many ways but remote to expectations none the less.

Initially I felt an overwhelming juxtaposition between enjoying the entertainment of such a contrasting environment to our norm and expectations - loving the clean fresh air and breathtakingly beautiful scenery and people who were often welcoming and warm, against, an incredible overwhelming feeling of loneliness and being misunderstood. Although we met so many wonderful friendly English speaking people who made us feel instantly welcome I could not help missing my family (I could no longer just talk to them in the evenings due to time zones – somehow this made the distance seem so much further), old friends and the Asian lifestyle. There was a constant niggling feeling of being misunderstood due to my cultural ignorance and lack of language skills and therefore communication in local situations. Being uncomfortable with confrontation and impatient to fit in and feel ‘at home’ any cold reception or ambivalence to our efforts were difficult to understand and only exaggerated my feelings of loneliness and homesickness.

Gaining some basic German language skills in those first few months made life exceedingly better and visitors from Australia and Hong Kong were welcome distractions and very restorative. In so many ways my initial six months felt constrained by family needs, finding a home, exorbitant childcare costs (for bilingual pre-schooling and care when taking language classes compared to HK) and our baby daughter being constantly unwell and in need of medical and maternal attention. My husband and I read what we found available, supported each others needs to fit in and were socially active but learning about a culture and a language takes a considerable amount of time, time we did not find before relocating with 3 young children particularly as baby Aoife was born only 9 weeks prior to leaving our apartment in HK. We had expected to fit in so easily after our previous experiences of comfortable and easy relocations.

My first winter in Zurich: By winter living in Zurich felt almost magical - like living in fairy-land. From our home we looked out to snow covered trees and fields; roof tops and steeples white, a brilliant too clean white as the sun reflected off them, so white that it seemed unreal. This reminding me of European Christmas cards I would look at when I was little. I remember thinking how strange Christmas snow scenes were when we were bound to spend Christmas basking in the sun, semi clad or in our swimmers, swimming or messing about with water, dinning on delicious sea food and nagging our parents for another cold ice-block (ice-cream).

After a year in Zurich: we now feel settled and comfortable, welcome and accepted, our language deficiencies are often tolerated and more often people make warm and friendly efforts to help us improve – we have a long way to go with our German and understanding of local customs but enjoying the ride!

Since you have lived abroad for quite a long time, how would you describe your expat life in Switzerland from Hong Kong and Singapore?

The monumental shift in lifestyle from living in HK where I worked and had a nanny, to living in Switzerland with no language skills, no job, so far from family (10 hour time difference and daunting minimum 24 hour flight with 3 small kids) and no help was huge. Moving to Zurich’s rural lifestyle with the obvious pride in the obsession of having everything in place and all neatly arranged, seems to be part of all the components of peoples lives which on the surface makes Switzerland so beautiful and picture postcard perfect but conversely must bring about social issues and make people a little edgy and judgemental (beware parking on the lines or speaking too loud …and children please don’t jump on the beds in IKEA (wwooops)).

This new lifestyle stood in many ways as a sharp contrast to our life amongst the sky scrapers of sprawling, bustling, dynamic, bespangled HK with its barrage of sensory overload of sights, smells and sounds where you are almost immune to the pungent smell of dry fish and the sound of jack hammers tearing up the footpath, where you go to IKEA on a rainy day with the kids to have fun; and possibly belittling all these things to some extent is the shift from being a Gweilo (HK Chinese term for foreigner) where you are treated with a combination of ambivalence and respect to being a foreigner in Switzerland – from the East to the West, the Chinese to Germanic, the warm to the cold, the chaotic to the conformist.

How did your kids react, when you decided to move to Switzerland and how are they adapting?

Our kids were too young to react dramatically to our move. Our 3 year old was really the only one who noticed. He commented on the language changes after attending a Chinese/English playgroup in HK and missed his friends he had known since birth. He mentioned changes such as no mini buses, no dim sum and how much he had to walk here, where was the nanny, why was it so cold, what are all these animals and why are there so many cows ?. He loved the new outdoor lifestyle in the parks, skiing, ice skating, playing in the snow, hanging out at the Strandbad, swimming in the lake, riding horses and so much more. On the whole he adapted easily and happily. He started at Tandem (bilingual pre-school in Uetikon) only weeks after we arrived and made friends quickly. Tandem was fantastic and a school I highly recommend to new English speaking families wanting their kids to learn German and cultural customs in a safe, nurturing and loving environment. He has now joined the local Swiss kindergarten happily thanks to our wonderful, supportive neighbours, and welcoming school.

In Switzerland most mothers stay at home. How do you view your career possibilities here?

I arrived in Zurich determined and enthusiastic to settle my family and find a part time role in a bank. With a recent postgraduate education in management, experience as a senior finance consultant and Asia regional director for a large multinational, I assumed finding a part time role would be relatively easy. After some interesting interviews, and discussions I found that the role I wanted, which would provide me with a work and family balance, was not so easily found. To satisfy my intellectual needs I worked on a consulting project part time from home for a few months prior to the summer break and undertook some voluntary work which was enjoyable and reasonably intellectually restorative and since summer I am back to studying my Masters on-line from Australia with the view to matriculate before the turn of the decade with an MBA and Master in Commercial Law. What a great opportunity to improve my German language skills, finish my postgraduate studies and spend each day with my family. I feel very lucky to be able to have this balanced life - hopefully this will keep my brain stimulated and constantly resurfacing career desires at bay.

How do you preserve Australian culture and language while living in Switzerland?

I love Australia. It is a beautiful country of open spaces and diverse exquisite scenery. A relaxed culture built on the foundations of enjoying the great outdoors, beach culture, balanced family lifestyle, chuck (throw) a prawn on the barbi (BBQ) and relaxing with a tinny (can of beer) with your mates (friends) – work and play hard and please don’t take life too seriously. These are not too far removed from the Swiss culture we have been introduced to by friends here. The Australian language I miss from the perspective of Australian colloquialisms and local banter. Looking forward to meeting more Aussie families living here!

Do you ever think about moving back to Australia?

I have loved our adventurous life in Australia, Asia and Europe but recently, my husband and I find ourselves discussing subjects such as ‘where will we settle?’ ‘where is the best place to educate our kids?’ ‘where do we want our children to identify as home?’ ‘is the expat lifestyle what we want for our kids?’. Having children often makes you think about your roots and the children’s relationship with your parents/their grandparents, your siblings and their cousins. My family in Australia are wonderful, loving and inspiring individuals and I would like my kids to spend time learning from them and growing in their nurturing environment. I do feel a sense of loss that my children are missing out on forming the strong bonds with cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that I was so lucky to have as a child. The wonderful sense of unity and kindred spirit that encompasses the family network is something I would love my children to have and a powerful experience which can not be emulated so easily.

If I could have a perfect life I would live somehow in Australia, HK and Switzerland simultaneously! Three astoundingly diverse, remarkable and wonderful countries and cultures.

 

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