It's a funny thing- I can't actually remember my first day at school. I remember bits and pieces of my first year at school - things like our very kind but slightly misguided teacher threatening to do French with us if we didn't behave. But it's all bits. Today, as a Dad, I'm watching my son on go through the same thing. Memories do awake.
The start of school is probably one of the first tangible milestones of a child's life. It's often the first time that they are really out on their own, without Mum or Dad there to look out for them. Sure, there's Kindergarten - but there really isn't the pressure to finish homework on time, make good grades, and so on. This all starts in first grade.
A great deal changes for us parents,too: I have to admit that I had the greatest difficulty just saying goodbye and watching my son cheerfully walk away into the school building. I worried. I confess. I worried (and worry constantly) about him. "Is he being bullied? Are the teachers treating him fairly? Is he making friends?" He seems pretty much unphased. But a lot of the challenge of the first years at school has to do with being able to let go - to a significant extent. Take homework, for instance: We wanted our son to finish his homework on time and get it right. But the teachers basically told us to stay out of it and let him do his homework on his own. That way the teachers can assess his level better and give him appropriate homework. After all - they said - they are teaching our son, not us. Point taken. So we limited ourselves to reminding him to do his homework and making sure he sits down and does it, without interfering with the content. Okay, this approach failed and we ended up coaching him in maths with the teachers' blessing, but it illustrates a point: Part of the first years at school aren't about learning school stuff, but about learning to take responsibility. To answer too the teacher why they haven't finished their homework. Or to be praised for having completed it on time.
School is also the first place where kids start to build their own social network. They make friends, dislike some kids, get along well with others... And this is an essential part of their development. It's also - unfortunately - the beginning of kids feeling that their parents are an embarrassment. Our son asked me emphatically to stop calling him "sweetie" (groan) in front of his classmates. It was okay, he said, if I called him that OUTSIDE school (and I should keep on doing so), but at school, I should call him by his name. Okaaaay...
At his old school, our son sometimes took along left-overs of my kitchen experiments (or at least of the more successful ones). I was making unleavened red wine,rosemary, garlic and oregano bread patties for a week for him to take along to school and hand out tasting portions to the kids. They loved it. Or fresh Ayran (salted yoghurt drink) - he wants a cold thermos of it to take along. This taste for a little more unusual fare for his "Znüni"snack started at school and he uses it as something to set him apart from the Mars bar, crisps and Coke crowd. It's good to let them have something like that, I think. It's a pity when kids only want to conform: To only wear the approved brands, to have the coolest Nintendo games everyone has, the Habbo Hotel account and so on. It's a useful lesson to realise that you can be cool by being different. A good lesson for healthy self-confidence.
The toughest thing is sharing responsibility for our kids with the teachers. For us, anyway. We have to learn to let them do their job and not interfere more than necessary. After a tough parent-teacher meeting, my son told me: "It's okay, Papi: You're still my Dad. She's only my teacher."
He's right, but it's still not easy.
* TRAVEL TO NIEDERBAUEN
* HAPPY SCHOOL
* RETURN TO SCHOOL
* THE SWISS SCHOOL BAG
* THE PARENT CHALLENGES
* THE DAD CHAMPIONSHIP
* Z`NÜNI - The Swiss snack
* TALKING BABIES
* SOMBAT ADAMS
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* ARCHIVE