ME TIME
MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS
We hope you will spend your YOU time today to laugh a little over this:
Presented by iVillage:Top 10 Worst. Mother-in-Law Gifts. Ever.
We asked iVillagers to tell us about the worst gifts they've ever received, and
so many stories involved mothers-in-law that we had to give them their own list.
Ah, MILs... We know you mean well (usually), but next year, could you just get
us a gift certificate?
Look Good While You Cook
MIL once got me a matching set: oven mitt and makeup bag. So whenever I'm simultaneously
applying lipstick and removing a roast from the oven, I can be color-coordinated.
'Tis the Season to Be Sexy?
My worst gift ever was from 18 years ago, when, for my first Christmas married
to her son, MIL gave me a pair of crotchless panties and a matching bra. I just
'bout died...
Deck the Halls with Hangers
A set of coat hangers that MIL got half price from a jumble sale.
Stocking Supplements
MIL got me pre-natal vitamins for my stocking—and [her son and I] weren't
even married yet.
Cheeky Surprise
My MIL gave me a horrible fake-lace scratchy thong, three sizes too small.
Howling Holiday T-Shirt
My MIL once bought me a T-shirt for Christmas that had a really tacky screen
print of two wolves howling on it. Not only was it huge, but it had this weird
little button sewn in, so that if you squeezed a certain spot on the front of
the shirt, it would play a recording of wolves howling.
Forgetful (but Organized!) MIL
MIL gave me a leather-bound address book... complete with the names and addresses
of people I didn't know! Did she forget she had used it before?
Clean freak
My MIL drew my name for Christmas one year. I got a Swiffer, shampoo and conditioner.
I was trying to figure out if she was implying that both my hair and floors are
dirty, or what.
A Not-So-Subtle Hint
One year, my MIL built her gift up for weeks: She had gotten me the perfect gift,
couldn't wait to see my face when I opened it, she knew it was just what I wanted,
etc. So she gives it to me on Christmas day in front of her entire family of
50 people... and it's a vacuum cleaner. She announces loudly, "I know you
really needed that because the one you have just isn't getting all the cat hair
up off your couch." Needless to say I was beyond mortified!
Gifts That Bug
I have a small tattoo of a ladybug on my shoulder. My MIL saw this and ever since
has given me tons of ladybug stuff. So far, my collection includes six ladybug
lapel pins, four pairs of earrings, one bedspread/sham combo, two toe rings,
three embroidered sweaters and a shower curtain. The last time I saw her in July,
she remarked, "I didn't know you had a ladybug tattoo! You must really like
them!" I have told her (and my husband) that I don't really like ladybugs
as much as she thinks. Still, she told my husband this weekend that she found
a cute ladybug jumper dress for me for Christmas. Aah!
mamizeit favourites
Book Review: Balzac
and the Little chinese Seamstress by
Dai Sijie
A friend of mine lived in Asia for a decade or so and with that she fell
in love with Asian way of living and Asian culture. When she moved to
Switzerland all her books, written by chinese or Indian authors, came
with her and I was lucky enough to borrow one of her many books. I began
with a book called Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress which is
a wonderful and mezmerizing tale to recommend.
In short: 1973- Mao’s Cultural Revolution is at its peak. Two sons
of doctors, sent to re-education camps, forced to carry buckets of excrement
up and down mountain paths, have only their sense of humour to keep them
going. Although the attractive daughter of the local tailor also helps
to distract them from the task at hand.
Boys‘ true re-education starts, however, when they discover a hidden
suitcase packed with great Western novels of the nineteenth century.
Their lives are transformed. And not only their lives: after listening
to the stories of Balzac, the little seamstress will never be the same
again.
www.randomhouse.co.uk/vintage
If You Give a Mom a Martini...
by Julia Klappas & Lyss Stern.
Published by Clarkson
Potter.
Make the Best Martini Ever
Mix it. Pour it. Savor it. If necessary, rinse and repeat.
Lemon Drop Martini (otherwise known as “Mommy’s Lemonade”)
* Granulated sugar
* 6 parts lemon-flavored vodka
* 1 part dry vermouth
* Cracked ice
* Lemon twist, for garnish
Wet
the rim of a martini glass, and press into a plate of granulated sugar. Combine
the liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker with cracked ice, and shake well.
Strain into the prepared martini glass, and garnish with a lemon twist.
PREVIOUS "ME TIME" ARTICLES:
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